Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
