I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
