omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize