OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
