You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
