Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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