So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
