Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am available for nakedness
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
