I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
