Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
