I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sobbing to NWA
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
