never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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