he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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