it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
