his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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