Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
