so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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