Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
