At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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