Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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