i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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