You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
