he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
foreskin is a definite game changer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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