Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
