is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
