this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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