she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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