Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
