People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
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So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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