pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
