ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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