My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
