You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
