so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
