"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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