I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
