there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
