she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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