you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.