the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.