you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
