Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
