He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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