are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
