Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
