So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
