WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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