I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize