Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
