I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
