Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
