And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
