I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
