So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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