I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize