I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize