I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
