I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize