So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
