This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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