Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
