WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
