Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize