lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
