Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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