I must be too annoying 4 u.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
